Just Another Day & its Sequels
by Nevoreiel
Summary: To liven up a Charms lesson some idiot decides to play some music, and behold – Draco decided to do a little dance on his table and drags Harry into it. And what happens when Draco decides to get revenge? When will the madness end? DM/HP & LD/SS slash.
1. Part I: Just Another Day

**Title:** **Just Another Day**

**Author:** **Nevoreiel **_(lamort_noir@hotmail.com)_

**Pairing:** **Draco/Harry**

**Rating:** **R** just to be safe, very questionable behaviour, some very enthusiastic pole rubbing and licking (don't ask) and snogging going on between two males *winkwink*, language. That about sums it up.

**Summary:** To liven up a Charms lesson some idiot decides to play some music, and behold – Draco decided to do a little dance on his table and drags Harry into it. But where do Filch and a strip club come in?

**Disclaimer:** The characters in no way, shape, or form ever did, are, or will belong to me. The outrageous storyline belongs to me though. J.K. Rowling would not be caught dead writing such things. No money is made of this and who would want to pay for something like this? If you really want to sue me talk to me when I actually have some money.

**Warning:** The only warning would be that if outrageous situations make you choke then be careful when you read, oh, and don't eat or drink anything while reading. And also a great big lack of talking. This story is SLASH (male/male relationship), nothing much but much smut; the R rating is not for a very good reason. :)

**Archive:** My website: http://www21.brinskter.com/fracturedprose and any other website that wants it, jus tell me about it so I'm aware of it.

**Notes:** Yay, I have a new "story". The featured song is "Closer" by Nine Inch Nails from his CD "The Downward Spiral". I might have taken some liberties with the Potter World and this is a 3rd person narrative type of thing. Also watch out for OOCs, I couldn't make the story the way it is unless I made them completely out of character. And for the sake of the "story" the radio mentioned works on a magical current. Storyline? Where?

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It was another day in Hogwarts. Granted it wasn't an ordinary day, no day at Hogwarts is ever ordinary. Unless you were in the Charms classroom at this particular time of day. Half the class was asleep and the other half, well… the other half was almost asleep. With lazy movements the few students who were paying attention were trying, unsuccessfully I might add, to perform a switching charm.

The most commotion was brought about when Neville switched his desk with a vicious looking dog. It took awhile before Professor Flitwick was able to switch the dog and the table back to their original places. Neville had run a few laps around the room by then, he looked ready to collapse and when no one offered him a chair he did collapse.

Harry, Ron, and Hermione were all standing in a huddle, looking extremely sleepy. Ron was waving around his wand dangerously, pointing it every which way. Hermione, of course, had mastered it and was switching her quill with Harry's just to show that she could.

Suddenly an eerie rhythm filled the room. Music! Crabbe gave a snort and came out of hibernation; Goyle was beyond help, practically rolling on the floor. Ah… henchman. But the attraction of the Slytherin side was Draco Malfoy, delectable enemy number one of the famous Harry Potter. He was currently climbing expertly the mountain that was his desk, oblivious to the parchment, book, quill, and ink bottle that flew off.

Those that were sufficiently awake were staring at Draco openly, finally some excitement. Once happily standing on top Draco discarded his robes and started to sway to the rhythm. Everyone, including Harry, could not help but "ooh" and "ahh" and Draco continued his seductive dance. His hips swung left, right, left, right. Somebody fainted but that's not important. The whole class, with the exception of Neville, Goyle, and the random faintee, rushed around the rectangular table. They formed a wall around Draco, their tongues lolling.

_"you let me violate you, you let me desecrate you  
you let me penetrate you, you let me complicate you  
help me I broke apart my insides, help me I've got no soul to sell  
help me the only thing that works for me, help me get away from myself"___

As the music got into full swing, Draco started a more frantic rhythm, undulating his body in ways that greatly pleased the multitude. The only two reasonable people left were Hermione and Professor Flitwick though by the looks of it Professor Flitwick was succumbing to the spell. But once Hermione stuffed the poor Professors ears he came back to earth. Unfortunately for him he had to break up the commotion. 

The tiny Professor had no way of getting through the crowd of hormonally charged teenagers. Lucky for him he was small and therefore successfully was able to crawl between their legs. At this time the crowd got so rowdy that a chant was taken up – started by none other then our blushing hero. The spectacle continued to the persistent chant of "Take it off!"

_"I want to fuck you like an animal  
I want to feel you from the inside  
I want to fuck you like an animal  
my whole existence is flawed  
you get me closer to god"___

Being naturally coy, Malfoy decided to tease the class and slowly, ever so slowly, undid his tie. Every eye in the room including that of a stuffed cat followed his every movement. Finally getting the tie untied Draco threw it into the crazed crowd. Pansy was the one to catch it but her glory was short lived as all those near enough piled on top of her and started a cat fight. The chant broke off and many appreciative remarks could be heard.

Shakily Professor Flitwick raised himself up next to the edge of the table and dusted off his hat. Someone had the audacity to step on it. Getting mesmerized once again by Mr. Malfoy's swaying pelvis he completely forgot his mission. But as someone stepped on his foot he regained his bearing. Loudly clearing his throat which did absolutely no good he started tugging urgently on Draco's pant leg which also did absolutely no good. 

Draco however had started undoing his shirt buttons, one by one. Reaching the last one he started sliding the fabric off of his right shoulder, showing a little skin. There were many catcalls. Finally, after much drooling and table banging the shirt was off. It flew gracefully over the students' heads and wound up on Hermione's head. This was most unfortunate as she was jumped by those who wanted to get their hands on that shirt. 

Being absolutely insane the Professor started climbing onto the table with the help of a chair, this took him awhile. Once on top the tugging resumed. As the tugging got too persistent Mr. Malfoy had the common sense to kick out at the nuisance. At about the same time Seamus decided that it was time to get some real entertainment. With a flick of the wand he switched the Professor with a stripper's pole, firmly embedded in the wood of the table, I might add.

The whole congregation cheered.

_"you can have my isolation, you can have the hate that it brings  
you can have my absence of faith, you can have my everything  
help me tear down my reason, help me it's your sex I can smell  
help me you make me perfect, help me become somebody else"_

Seeing the pole as an advantage Draco wasted no time in getting to know it. Straddling it with one leg and hooking an arm around it he started rubbing seductively against it. There were many appreciative whistles. Feeling in the spirit of it all and how couldn't he, Mr. Malfoy stuck out his pink tongue and_ very slowly licked his way up the pole._

Hermione crawled cautiously away from the body pile, she was covered in bruises and bite marks where the girls and some boys had bitten her in their haste. Shakily getting to her feet Hermione looked sadly at the place where Professor Flitwick was last seen. Deciding that trying to stop this madness would not do any good, she started combing the room for the source of the offensive music.

_"I want to fuck you like an animal  
I want to feel you from the inside  
I want to fuck you like an animal  
my whole existence is flawed  
you get me closer to god"_

Draco was enjoying his newfound fame immensely. He decided it was time to play. Seeing Potter in the crowd he curled and uncurled his index finger. Potter looked dumbstruck and to verify the gesture he pointed at himself and silently mouthed "Me?" Mr. Malfoy found this extremely delightful and getting on all fours he nodded his head, carefully maneuvering in the tight space of his desk and making sure his arse was stuck up just the right way.

As people around them realized what Draco, the current Sex God, wanted they hurriedly pushed Harry towards the front and with little difficulty they heaved him onto the crowded table. Caught like a deer in the headlights of an oncoming truck Harry crouched there frozen. Soon enough though the excitement registered.

Looking slightly bewildered our hero stood up and grabbed the pole for support. Seeing the uncertainty the current Sex God decided to get rid of it. Sitting back on his haunches he appraised his pray with a hungry look. The crowd sensing something palpable in the air took up another chant: "Snog! Snog! Snog!"

Playing up to the sex crazed students Draco licked his lips in anticipation and Harry visibly swallowed. Pouncing on our hero Draco pressed himself fervently against the other warm body. This was rewarded with many appreciative "ahhs" and much clapping. Cornering his prey with his silver gaze, Draco carefully licked Harry's cheek, producing a shudder.

_"through every forest, above the trees  
within my stomach, scraped off my knees  
I drink the honey inside your hive  
you are the reason I stay alive"_

Finally with total abandon our dearest Slytherin attached his mouth to that of Harry's. Feverishly biting, licking, and otherwise taking out his hormonal build up on Harry. As carefully as possible, Draco started unclasping his prey's robes. As those who were near enough noticed this, the old chant of "Take it off!" was taken up. If you listened carefully enough muffled cries of protest could be heard coming from Mr. Potter. 

As trying to pry Malfoy's fingers off him was not at all possible Harry decided to pay in kind and reached for the zipper of Draco's pants. Still battling for control above waistline Draco could not spare a hand to stop Potter's advances, plus it was kind of nice. Ah, banish the thought.

While more glorious skin was revealed some dropped into a dead faint, not able to take all the damn beauty!

Down to his boxers, Draco realized which pair he was wearing today and he smiled faintly. It had broomsticks on it, the irony. Sliding his hands over Potter's chest he was happily oblivious of the battle currently taking place over his discarded pants.

Sudden silence reigned over the classroom as the music abruptly cut off. A triumphant "Aha!" was heard and everyone, excluding those who fainted and Goyle (Neville couldn't resist a mosh pit) turned to stare at Hermione. She was holding a random storage cupboard door open. Sitting inside was none other than Mr. Filch. He was smiling sheepishly and clutching to his chest what Hermione thought to be a Muggle radio.

A strangled yell of disgust was heard and all turned back to the infamous table. Draco was frantically trying to wipe off his tongue, spluttering incoherently. Harry was standing just as bewildered – his pants unzipped and his shirt hanging off one shoulder. Feeing all eyes on himself and Potter, Draco realized that he was standing in his boxers.

Glancing around frantically he finally decided that the pole would be best and tried to hide behind it. Seeing as it was doing no good he snatched off Harry's shirt and wrapped it around his waist superstitiously. Sticking out his tongue at all of them he scowled, "And what are you all staring at?"

Promptly all eyes turned back to Filch still crammed in the cupboard. "Explain yourself Mr. Filch," said Hermione sternly.

He stammered a bit and then confessed to liking this kind of music.

"But how did you end up in the cupboard?" Ron broke in.

"Someone must've switched Filch with the supplies. But this still doesn't explain why you were in a cupboard in the first place. Mr. Filch?" Hermione was all business. I think she secretly enjoyed it.

"Ah, well… you see I can't go disgracing myself, so I listen to it in a cupboard so no one hears me." Filch cringed when Hermione raised her wand but all she did was switch him back with the supplies. But on the sly she added bunny ears and now Filch was blissfully unaware of the pink fluffy ears he'd acquired.

Everyone sighed with relief.

Draco still humiliated carefully climbed off the table and inched towards the door. "I'll get you back for this, Potter, mark my word. Putting the Imperious Curse on me, I'll show you." Huffing he slipped through the door and out of sight. There was an audible collective groan heard.

Harry got off the table as well, looking rather happy. And who wouldn't be? He was surprised to find that his robe now had some very strategically placed holes in it.

With the excitement gone the class dispersed, if slowly. Harry proved to be an undeniable attraction.

This would be a class many would remember with fond memories.

**The E – **

But wait, it can't end there. Where did poor Professor Flitwick get switched to? To the Professors endless delight he ended up the centerpiece of a strip show. The girls loved him.

And what about the next day, something has to happen!

But why wait that long? By the end of the day the school was buzzing about Mr. Malfoy's performance and how Harry decided to "_lend a hand". Harry and Draco got a lot of fan support that day and a particular clingy Ravenclaw started stalking Draco around the school. Unfortunately he got a restraining order set against him._

Fred and George were laughing heartily, Fred was able to choke out between all the laughter, "I wonder what Malfoy would do if we put in a higher dosage."

Since Harry overheard this he was keen on getting the formula for that concoction, never know when it might come in handy. When asked about it Fred and George said the dancing ability did not come with the potion only the urge to do it. Harry was in heaven.

Dumbledore seemed very pleased about this and during dinner loudly announced that it's a pity that no one though to tape it. At this Hermione lost her temper and stamping her feet shouted that it's impossible to use such Muggle devices in Hogwarts. Dumbledore looked very perplexed.

And overall everyone was very happy. Even Malfoy was quite surprised at his sexual prowess.

I wonder if anyone will think to get Professor Flitwick back. Does he want to go back? Let's not even go there.

**The End**

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**A/N:** How was it? Good? Bad? Ugly? Flame all you want, I'll love you forever. I have yet to be flamed. And if you just want to review I'll love you forever as well. :) I know it's just begging for a sequel, if I get a good enough idea I'll write a sequel. Anyone want a sequel?


	2. Part II: Another Day in Paradise

**Title:** **Another Day in ****Paradise**** _or Part II of Just Another Day_**

**Author:** **Nevoreiel **_(lamort_noir@hotmail.com)_

**Pairing:** **Draco/Harry, ****Lucius****M./Severus**** S.**

**Rating:** **R** just to be safe, very questionable behaviour, lots and lots of snogging between two males *winkwink* and some sexual content, some language. That about sums it up.

**Summary:** After the strip dance fiasco Draco gets revenge. But what happens when Draco needs to be rescued? And is that Lucius Malfoy and Severus Snape on the Quidditch pitch?

**Disclaimer:** The characters in no way, shape, or form ever did, are, or will belong to me. The outrageous "storyline" belongs to me though. J.K. Rowling would not be caught dead writing such things. No money is made of this and who would want to pay for something like this? If you really want to sue me talk to me when I actually have some money. Which might be never.

**Warning:** The only warning would be that if outrageous situations make you choke then be careful when you read, oh, and don't eat or drink anything while reading. This story is SLASH (male/male relationship), more smut and more slash then the previous piece; the R rating is not for a good enough reason. :) Oooh, and doggie collars, can't have a story without them.

**Archive:** My website: http://www21.brinskter.com/fracturedprose and any other website that wants it, jus tell me about it so I'm aware of it.

**Notes:** I finally have the sequel, yay! An almost PWP fic, some very outlandish plotlines though. For the sake of the story the characters are still OOC and there is much smut. Also don't look at this as politically correct or medically possible, it's neither. You'll see what I mean once you read through it. This is 3rd person point of view.

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The next day the feeling the general excitement was slowly wearing off. But no one missed the death glares passing from Draco Malfoy to Harry Potter. Everyone waited with held breath to see what evil revenge Draco would cook up. And cook it up he did.

In Potion's class, Professor Snape was making the Gryffindor's life hell as usual. While making a disgusting looking Hair Regrower potion, Snape decided to pair up Malfoy and Potter. I think he secretly enjoyed doing this.

Malfoy did not say a word and this scared Mr. Potter more than any sarcastic remark would've. One thing was certain; Malfoy had something up his sleeve. And this particular something will be revealed much later.

Carefully scrutinizing the boys' cauldron, Professor Snape decided that Potter would be the best candidate to try out the potion on. Pansy was very relieved that it wouldn't be her, wouldn't want anyone finding out about that embarrassing mustache of hers.

Harry was not happy about the Professor's choice of guinea pig but he had no choice. Malfoy on the other hand was ecstatic. While Potter was making silly faces at Granger and Weasley and Professor Snape was seething at Longbottom's incompetence he decided to act. Carefully he stuck his wand into the potion and magically switched the contents of it with the contents of a medium sized bottle hidden in his bag. The Charms lesson had come in useful after all. The whole operation being successful Malfoy sat in his seat with an expression of innocence. Upon seeing that expression Harry got even more suspicious.

"Well, Mr. Potter. I'm sure you don't need help drinking the potion?" Snape was looming over Harry darkly.

"No, sir." 

"Then what are you waiting for? Drink."

Getting a cup, Harry ladled some of the potion into it. Taking a deep breath Harry took a few gulps from the vile brownish liquid and gagged a bit. Everyone waited expectantly; Malfoy was teetering on the edge of his seat. Nothing happened and Professor Snape was about to berate Harry for a poorly Hair Regrowing potion when Harry sprouted a second head.

"Well, this certainly was unexpected Mr. Potter. Whatever you did with that potion was a complete disaster," all this time Snape was trying very hard not to burst out laughing. And he wasn't the only one. Most of the Gryffindor's were trying to hide their snickers behind their hands.

Not understanding what all the snickering was about Harry uncertainly put up his hands to examine his face. He was very surprised to find two of them. Grinning idiotically he fell over and off his seat in a dead faint.

"Mr. Malfoy, would you be so kind as to escort our two headed friend to the infirmary. I'm sure Madame Pomfrey will be able to fix _that," Snape looked contemptuously down at the two-headed Mr. Potter and grinned evilly._

"Of course, Professor. Wouldn't want Potter to be further scarred," Malfoy had a grand time "accidentally" dropping Harry on his way to the infirmary. After all levitating a whole human being is _hard work._

Upon seeing the unconscious Harry Potter, Madame Pomfrey almost fainted herself, "What happened to him? Put him on the bed. Gently, Mr. Malfoy. That's it."

She tut-tutted and examined poor Harry finally coming up with the diagnoses that the effects of whatever he had drunk would wear off in 24 hours. Malfoy was very pleased but tried to hide it, unsuccessfully.

Waving some smelling salt in front of Harry's nose_s Madame Pomfrey successfully revived The Boy Who Lived, now with two heads. Malfoy was going to accidentally mention this to that Creevey boy, just so that there would be a picture to remind Harry of the humiliation._

Harry looked very disoriented; both pairs of eyes were frantically assessing his surroundings. The head on the right spoke first, "What happened?" The other head looked at the right one and raising an eyebrow responded, "Well, bright eyes, it seems that you've got two heads!"

"Are you sure?" the head on the right seemed skeptical.

"Very sure."

"All right, works for me.

Draco watched all this with an amused half smile. It was like a tennis match, only faster. Being so engrossed in the rapid fire conversation between Potter head #1 and Potter head #2 he didn't notice that both were now glaring at him.

"What?" he tried feigning innocence again, but Potter was not fooled.

"You know exactly what, Malfoy," said head #2

"Yes, you were the one to do this to me," added the first head.

"Ah… I should return to the class now. See you later," with that Malfoy was out of the infirmary before either head could protest.

Settling on this strange predicament Harry put his heads together and thought back on the previous day. This was a little hard as each one was thinking about something slightly different. Putting the two images together Harry got a brilliant idea.

"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" the first head looked downright mischievous.

"Depends on what you're thinking," winked the second head.

"Malfoy…"

"…in bed?"

"Exactly!"

"Brilliant!"

"Let's get to it," Harry Potter hurriedly got off the hospital bed and teetered uncertainly for a few seconds before finding the right balance for his two heads.

Running out into the hall Harry did not see Malfoy but head #2 was keen to notice out of a small window that Malfoy was right on the Quidditch pitch.

Quickly descending, Harry was surprised to find Malfoy in the same spot. He was bent over and laughing very hard.

"Malfoy, just the person I wanted to see," Harry was positively beaming.

Malfoy at the moment was stifling giggles, "Potter, what are you doing here?"

"Finishing old business," Harry moved closer, a manic smile on his face.

Now it was time for Malfoy to be suspicious, "What are you talking about, Potter? Have you finally lost your head? Oh, sorry," he looked poignantly at Harry's heads, "you seem to have gained one. But it sure hasn't made you smarter."

"Oh, Malfoy, do stop being so thick," head two seemed to be a little upset with that particular comment.

"Yes," added the first one, "I'm not here to fight with you. I have a much better idea."

"And what could that be, Potter?" Malfoy actually seemed interested if only a little bit.

"Let me just show you," the head on the right turned to see better the left one, "Should I do the honor or would you like to?"

The left one thought a bit, "He's yours, for the time being anyway."

Malfoy followed this bit of conversation and could not understand what it was about. No fear, as soon enough he understood it all. Harry was upon Malfoy in a flash and head number one had his mouth fastened firmly on Malfoy's. Being taken by complete surprise Draco froze up but naturally, especially remembering the events of yesterday, he quickly pushed the offending boy away. Hastily he started wiping his mouth with the sleeve of his robe.

"What was_ that, Potter?" he looked thoroughly disgusted._

"That, my dear Malfoy was just the beginning. Now, quit talking and come here, you beautiful boy," said Harry, making a lunge for Malfoy.

Malfoy was quicker and stepped back, "Potter, I think that potion has permanently damaged you. What in heaven's name are you doing and did you just call be "_beautiful boy"? Malfoy scowled in distaste at that phrase._

"Yes, I did," both heads grinned triumphantly and Harry stepped closer. Malfoy stepped back, Harry stepped closer and Draco yet again stepped back. They looked like they were dancing. After a few more minutes of this strange dance, Malfoy, not watching where he was stepping, ended up tripping and falling over two bodies. Just lying there, or were they?

A distinct "ouch" was heard from at least one of those bodies. Looking down curiously, Draco was horrified to find his father and Professor Snape rolling around on the field.

"Father! You have just maimed me for life! How could you?" Draco was still staring with a horrified expression at the, ahem, "indecent", picture they presented. The picture being his father and Head of House looking very disheveled and Snape was wearing what seemed to be a dog collar. Gasp, the horror!!!

Lucius Malfoy looked like a child caught with his hand inside the cookie jar or to be correct inside Snape's pants. His expression was not far from Draco's, "Ah, Draco, what are you doing here?"

"Last time I checked I went to school here," Draco looked ready to kill something, anything.

Lucius kicked Snape off of him and hastily stood up, his lips were twitching, "Of course, of course, but what are you doing _here?"_

"The question, father, should be what are _you doing __here?" Draco's face resembled a ripe tomato by now._

"Mr. Malfoy, it does not matter what your father has been doing. And as you clearly have eyes you saw what he was doing," Snape has now decided to get up off the ground as well, albeit very slowly. "And I wish he kept doing it, too," this was said in a whisper that no one, thankfully, heard.

Harry looked slightly puzzled but when Mr. Malfoy the Elder looked very strangely at Harry's two heads he tugged urgently on Draco's robe sleeve, "Walking away now, Malfoy, walking away."

Surprise of surprises Draco actually listened and started backing away, of course, he just had to wrench his sleeve out of Harry's grasp but that's just a minor detail.

"Ah, good Malfoy, we're alone again," said head #2 when they were sufficiently far away from the very strange going-ons on the field.

"Wrong, Potter. _We're not doing anything."_

"That's what you say."

"And my word is the law."

"In your world."

"Exactly."

This back and forth conversation lasted a few more minutes when suddenly, out of nowhere, a giant worm-like creature, at least 100 meters if not more in height burst out of the ground.

It sniffed the air and then without hesitation attacked Draco. Picking him up in his mouth, thankfully it had no visible teeth; the creature started shaking him violently.

Harry looked perplexed and Draco was screaming for help at the top his lungs.

"Damn you… Potter… don't just…stand there…. Do… some…thing!"

Harry just stood there before the current situation dawned on him. Without thinking the second head screamed out, "Save us! Professors! Anyone! Save us!" The first one was still in shock.

As it did not seem to work Harry decided to take matters into his own hands. Rolling up his robe sleeves, completely forgetting his wand, he grabbed onto the creature's tail and started climbing onto its back, or what seemed to be its back. The slimy thing did not even notice the tiny nuisance that was Harry but kept battering poor Draco, who has still not given up his screaming.

When a brilliant idea hit Harry he was unable to refuse it and taking out his wand he started stabbing the creature with it and screaming "Die! Die! Die!" with each downward stroke.

As the stabbing got too annoying the creature threw off Harry without much effort. With that action something small and brown flew out of Draco's sleeve. Abandoning Draco the creature "pounced" on that small brown something. 

Seeing as Draco was going to land on the ground Harry, being very valiant, called out, "I'll save you Draco!" But, alas, when it came to actually catching Draco, Harry was unsuccessful and Draco landed right on top of him.

"Ouch, well, that was unnecessary. Get off, Draco," he carelessly pushed the blonde off. Both his heads were spinning, what an impact that was. "And what happened here?"

"Apparently I was attacked by something, and that something wanted the cookie in my sleeve, and it got it too," Draco sat pouting on the grass apparently oblivious to the state his hair was in. Getting abused by a worm-thing will do that to you.

"You had a cookie up your sleeve?!?" both pairs of Harry's eyes were wide open in dismay.

"What's it to you, Potter? So what if I had a cookie up my sleeve. I personally like cookies," he looked very disgruntled and for effect he decided to cross his arms.

Harry raised his hands defensively, "It's nothing to me Malfoy, calm down."

"What was that commotion about, Mr. Potter? Would you care to explain?"

Turning around hesitantly, Harry was very disappointed to find Professor McGonogall, looking very stern.

"Er, Professor McGonogall," Harry was at a loss for words.

So was Professor McGonogall as she saw Harry's heads, "Goodness gracious, Mr. Potter, what happened to your head?"

"Long story Professor, but you see there was this giant worm-thing that attacked Malfoy, next thing I know I'm trying to save him but I don't need to save him because it turns out that the creature, whatever it was, wanted the cookie up Malfoy's sleeve!" Harry's head #1 gasped for breath while the second one nodded in approval.

"The cookie up Mr. Malfoy's sleeve?" McGonogall looked strangely at Mr. Malfoy and then Mr. Potter trying to see if they were at all sane. To her dismay she did not see any immediate sign of insanity if you didn't count the extra head Mr. Potter seemed to have grown.

Through her head was running a very bad thought indeed. What if it was all her fault this creature thing was on the grounds in the first place? She never knew that dreaming about it would actually bring it to life. Best not to talk of it.

"All right, Mr. Potter, Mr. Malfoy, carry on," with that she started to inch along to the side keeping an eye on both of them.

Harry's heads looked at each other with a curious expression on each, not knowing how to explain that phenomenon, Harry just shrugged.

Hearing giggles and wet slurping noises Draco was roused from his stupor. What he saw made him get up clumsily and cover his eyes. He started stumbling around saying "I've gone blind!"

Looking in the direction of the noises Harry got the shock of his life, Professor Snape and Lucius Malfoy were going at it. Harry though they were trying to devour each other with the zest they were kissing. Now how they got here from where they were previously? Harry had a theory, not a very good one, but a theory nonetheless. He though that Snape just felt like torturing Harry some more. But come to think of it, that dog collar on Snape looked mighty pleasing. He wondered how Draco would look in one. Mighty good, came the answer to head #2.

But just for effect he mimicked Draco and started stumbling around hands out and groping repeating: "I've gone blind."

Sparing a glance at the two boys Lucius had the distinct impression that they were both stumbling in the direction of a strategically placed cottage. But then Snape did that delicious thing that he does to his ear and Lucius forgot all about the "blind" ones.

Somehow making it to the cottage Harry and Draco quickly shuffled in and locked the door. Slightly panting and still quite disheveled Draco looked plain yummy.

Harry eyed him, "Want to have wild sex?"

Draco looked a little surprised but quickly enough agreed. After all Harry was his little hero.

They were pleased to find a very big and fluffy looking four-poster bed. Making quick work of their clothes they plopped onto it. Without further ado both of Harry's heads attacked Malfoy.

From that moment Draco understood the meaning of the saying: "Two heads are better than one." 

There was a quick tussle about who would be the dom but Harry won on this one. Draco looked very cute while pouting though soon enough he was gasping for more.

They went at it until well past midnight, both exhausted beyond reason.

Draco was very disappointed to find one of Harry's' heads gone when he awoke in the mid-afternoon. The potion must have worn off while they were sleeping. Too bad, though Draco, that was one wild afternoon and night of sex. And the thought that surprised him was that he should definitely do it again sometimes. Preferably sooner.

Harry was also a little upset by the disappearance of his other head, later he said that he enjoyed the intelligent conversation they used to have.

Professor Snape and Lucius Malfoy had a grand night as well. When Snape found out about the runaway worm-thing he berated himself for throwing that radioactive potion out the window. He never though that such an awful, awful thing might happen.

Hagrid on the other hand looked very guilty when he heard and stuttered his way through the conversation. Like McGonogall he too inched away sideways.

But whose fault was it that the creature was there in the first place? I guess we'll never know. Chose the explanation that you like best and we'll call it the genuine article.

When questioned about his father's and Professor Snape's relationship, Draco declined comment but every time he saw a dog collar he started stumbling around with closed eyes repeating that he was blind. Harry was not amused; his chance at getting Draco into the collar plummeted to zero.

Let's just say that Harry was one unhappy camper or should I say cottager. It was later christened the Draco&Harry cottage, after much debate. Draco never let Harry live it down, but then who was complaining?

**The End (Really)**

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**A/N:** How was it? Good? Bad? Ugly? Really Ugly? Reviews are appreciated, flames are answered to, nicely that is. And thank you to all those who reviewed the first part. :D Told you there was something up Malfoy's sleeve. ;) Sorry for playing up the two-headed thing so much, it was just so much fun to write. Oh, and just for the story let's say that the new head did not need glasses.


	3. Part III: Of Dog Collars and Bondage

**Title:** **Of Dog Collars and Bondage**

**Author:** **Nevoreiel **_(lamort_noir@hotmail.com)_

**Pairing:** **Harry/Draco**

**Rating:** **R** just to be safe, very questionable behaviour, more sexual content than the last one, bondage, BDSM, some language. That about sums it up.

**Summary:** Harry has revenge and little something more on his mind and Draco is his unfortunate victim. Or is he?

**Disclaimer:** The characters in no way, shape, or form ever did, are, or will belong to me. The outrageous "storyline" belongs to me though. J.K. Rowling would not be caught dead writing such things. No money is made of this and who would want to pay for something like this? If you really want to sue me talk to me when I actually have some money. Which might be never.

**Warning:** This story is SLASH (male/male relationship), even more smut and more slash then the previous piece; the R rating is for a pretty good reason. :) Watch out for the return of those doggie collars but this time a pair of handcuffs, a ball gag, a blindfold, and other delightful things join in the fray. 

**Archive:** My website: http://www21.brinskter.com/fracturedprose and any other website that wants it, jus tell me about it so I'm aware of it.

**Notes:** Look at that, it's the sequel to the sequel! The characters are completely OOC (out of character). I am completely shameless, if you haven't yet noticed from the other two installments, so tread with caution this is not as happy-go-lucky as the previous two. 3rd person POV. And the recommended listening while reading is NIN's "Happiness in Slavery" off of the "Broken" record.

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By now the infamous Draco&Harry cottage was not as frequented as it was at its founding and now its founders had the cottage all to themselves. Everyone was very surprised when Dumbledore said nothing about the obviously dubious things taking place right there on Hogwarts property. But more then a few had a certain suspicion that Dumbledore found the whole thing delightful and even visited it himself sometimes. But those points were glossed over for the sanity of his students.

On this particular day, or to be correct, night, Harry and Draco were cozily snuggled under the covers of that sumptuous bed. While Draco was happily dreaming of ice cream, Harry had more devious thoughts. His dreams were "_dominated_" by the thoughts of a certain black leather collar that he had locked away for that far away day when Draco stopped being so selfish and let Harry put it on. But in this particular dream Harry was particularly happy, not only had Draco succumbed to Mr. Potter's whims completely he was also more than willing.

Just when the dream got to a very interesting point Harry was woken up by Draco, who insistently shook him.

"What…what is it?" Harry groaned inwardly at the quickly fading images from the dream. He stirred and impatiently covered his eyes as if it could keep the images from escaping.

"You were mumbling something very strange; I didn't like it so I thought I'd wake you up." Draco seemed completely sincere but something didn't sound right.

"What kind of things was I mumbling?" Mr. Potter studied Malfoy carefully for any strange reaction and got it, too, when Malfoy stuttered something about not remembering what exactly it was that Harry mumbled.

"Aah…but I'm sure you do," Mr. Potter's fingers crept their wicked way up Draco's chest, "did any of the words I said resemble, oh… let's say…dog collar!"

Mr. Malfoy jerked involuntary and covered his eyes all the while moaning "Nononono…"

All this complaining on Malfoy's part was wearing thin and Harry decided that enough was enough. Plus this was a good enough time as any to enact some of the wilder fantasies that plagued his mind.

Grabbing his wand with one hand and Draco's wrists with the other he quickly kicked off the covers. Glancing up he approximated that the ceiling was low enough with its bare beams and before Draco could successfully snap out of his hysterics he found himself attached by a very real pair of handcuffs to one of the beams in the ceiling, naked and on his tiptoes.

"Potter, get me down this instant!" But Harry just smiled indulgently and stood up on the bed. He raised one hand and tenderly caressed Draco's flushed cheek. Enraged by this gesture Mr. Malfoy snapped his teeth at the offending hand.

"Whoa, down boy," Harry had to snatch his hand back, slightly fearful, after all those teeth did look sharp enough to do some damage to his beautiful skin. He thought a bit and then with a huge grin he waved his wand at their bureau, surprisingly a drawer which Draco didn't even know existed slid out obediently. Quickly jumping off the bed Harry rummaged through it for a while and with a triumphant smile climbed back onto the bed, whatever he retrieved was safely hidden behind his back.

"Now, Draco, we're going to play a game." 

"But I don't want to play any game." Draco almost pouted.

"But Harry does, so we will," Mr. Potter licked his lips with anticipation and leaned in close but not enough to touch. Lowering his eyelashes he gazed at the delectable Slytherin strung so tight right before him. And he could do with him as he pleased, ah…revenge was sweet.

When Draco made a soft keening noise Harry snapped out of his reverie and remembering that which he wanted to do – continued to ravage the blond boy. Their lips clashed violently but Draco could do nothing at all when warm hands started to tease along his ribs, it tickled!

Breaking away Harry grinned widely when he saw that Draco was undone, the blonde's lips were red and glistening – perfect!

"Now, Draco, don't you worry your pretty little head about anything," said Harry but Draco could not help staring at the Gryffindor in fear.

Without further ado Harry revealed what he held in his hand behind his back. It was a perfectly new red leather ball gag. Before Draco registered just what was going to happen Mr. Potter had the gag securely in Draco's mouth and was closing the leather straps around his head.

Outraged, Malfoy started tossing his head but to no avail, the gag would not dislodge. Harry observed his handiwork and was pleased to find that red suited Draco well.

"Just a bit of revenge on my part, Malfoy, don't worry you'll still have all your limbs after I'm done with you." Draco's eyes were huge and stared in disbelief at the Boy Who Lived. He never knew Potter even **had the guts for this!**

Mr. Malfoy contemplated kicking Harry if that was what it took to get him out this compromising position but as if seeing his evil intent in the grey eyes Harry tut-tuted and waved a warning finger in front of Draco's nose.

"Now, no funny business, you wouldn't want me to chain your feet as well now would you?" Although come to think of it, Harry might do that anyway just to see how Draco would squirm. "I actually have a better idea." With that Harry went back to that secret wicked drawer again and took out a strip of black cloth. Oh, Draco did not like this; he did not like this at all.

With terrified eyes he watched Potter descend upon him again. Those deft fingers and tongue were doing sinful things to him and even though he told himself to resist it was more then a little hard to do. When Harry had Malfoy in a puddle before his feet and the Slytherin, blissfully unaware, had closed his eyes, he decided to act.

Carefully, not wanting to alarm Malfoy he took that strip of cloth and quickly tied it over Draco's eyes. The response was violent, maybe it was a good thing that Draco could barely make a sound. Ah, if only he knew what a sight he presented.

Caressing the convulsing throat he felt the thundering pulse and gently kissed it, his hands dancing soothingly over the smooth chest. Just as gently his fingers traced the lips stretched so deliciously over the ball gag, he felt the body tremble before him with need and try hard as he might to resist, Draco could not oppose his own desire.

Seeing this response to his ministrations Harry decided that it was safe to go on and he summoned to himself that particular collar that he thought would look most fetching on Malfoy. H attached the slim piece of leather to Malfoy's neck and because of the cool touch of the collar Draco tossed his head trying to find out just what exactly did crazy Harry Potter do. Panic overtook Draco when he realized that it was a collar on his neck and he was ready to grovel before Mr. Potter if only he _could_ grovel.

Harry chuckled, "Draco, Draco, you should walk around like this more often. You look delicious. Do I have permission to devour you?"

Since speech was futile Draco vigorously shook his head from side to side. 

"Pity, you would've liked that better than what I decided I _will_ do." Harry was enjoying his bit as a sadistic dominator. And the barely audible strangled sounds coming from Malfoy were more than a little arousing.

"Shh, don't worry, you're in good hands." And just to prove his point Harry ran a hand over Draco's quivering erection, small chocked gasps were his reward.

Getting off the bed once more he rummaged through the drawer some more and produced a small feather. Perfect!

He kneeled before the restrained Draco and starting with his calves begun to slowly trail the feather up one of those long glorious legs. The muscles twitched but thankfully Draco did not kick out. His hands clenched into fists but he was helpless to stop this assault on his senses. It sounded as if Draco wanted to say something but of course the gag barred the way. Thinking it over Harry decided that it would far better to remove the ball gag, it would be much more fun to hear those trembling reactions as well as feel them.

He stood up and carefully undid the leather strips holding the gag in place. Once the gag was out Draco spluttered a whole lot.

"**Never**, and I mean **_never_**, do that again, Potter!" if he could Draco would surely be wiping his tongue with his hands but they were immobilized by those damn handcuffs.

"Don't tell me you weren't enjoying it, plus, I'm not done yet. Hold your judgment until later." He lazily twirled the feather over first one nipple and then the other. Draco inhaled sharply. Anything he wanted to say conveniently jumped out of his mind. And even the fact that he was wearing that dreaded dog collar escaped him.

Smiling, Harry moved the feather over those swollen lips and delighted in the soft sigh that escaped them. He removed the feather and replaced it with his own mouth pleased at the passion with which Malfoy kissed him back.

Harry broke it off, gasping for breath and he almost chocked on the air as he saw the pink tongue slowly swipe along those lips. Deciding that it was enough teasing with the feather, Harry whispered a "be right back" and bounded into the small kitchen.

Soon enough he was back and giggling deviously. Unable to see anything made Draco very nervous and for a good reason, too. He felt Harry's presence hovering in front of him and with a gasp he felt something cold and wet slide along his cheek.

"What are you doing, Potter?"

"Taste for yourself." That cold and wet something touched his lips and as a few droplets of water trickled in he realized that it was an ice cube.

"You're out of your mind, Potter!"

"Don't say it like it's a bad thing." The ice cube made its way down his chin and neck, around the edge of the leather collar. Stepping around the fettered Draco, Harry resumed the trail of droplets right down the middle of Draco's back, twisting it every which way to taper off the dull edges into rounded corners.

Draco shuddered and moaned as the ice cube stopped in the small of his back and some of the melting water trickled down, cooling him.

"Potter…stop teasing –" the sentence ended in a gasp as Harry pushed the remaining ice cube right into him. "You…you just…you **didn't!"**

"But I **did**!" he decided that it was enough teasing indeed and with a flourish took off the blindfold. Draco squinted at the light and when he got used to it again rage took hold of him.

"Take that…out of me!" he writhed for emphasis but was very surprised to find that Harry was standing very close behind him and that thrust backward had brought them very close indeed.

"But it will be an excellent form of lubrication once it melts completely," said Mr. Potter. Draco groaned at that implication but to his own surprise he was still painfully hard. 

Harry chuckled again and unsnapping the handcuffs caught those wrists and roughly pushed Draco to the bed. Malfoy fell face first and was slowly getting up onto his knees, his arms still out in front of him. His poor wrists were red and slightly chaffed from rubbing against the metal of the cuffs; Potter was going to get it. But before he could get up all the way, Harry put two restraining hands on those thrust up hips and crawled closer to the Slytherin.

"Potter, what are you doing now?" Draco was still a bit woozy after being handcuffed to the rafters, for hours it seemed.

"Getting ready to fuck you of course." Draco chocked after those words, a trickle of cold water made its way down the inside of his thigh. How humiliating and for a Malfoy!

Draco clutched at the bedding convulsively as Harry started sliding home, astonishingly enough the ice cube had done its work well enough. Both were so high strung that it did not take too long for both to finish. And with one last thrust Harry collapsed as his strength gave out and Malfoy fell under his weight right onto the wet spot on the bed.

Both were just a bit winded but both were content, Draco was still flushed and his hair stuck to his forehead. He huffily slid out from under Harry and lying down onto his back was extremely displeased to find the discarded handcuffs right under his back. Taking them gingerly he flung them off the bed, they landed with a thud on the carpet. Harry finding himself lying right on the swiftly cooling wetness mumbled something and rolled onto his back.

Draco was just as displeased to find the collar still firmly strapped around his neck. He tried taking it off but it was no use, it was stubborn and would not detach itself.

He nudged Potter in the side and Harry groaned in protest, "Potter, take this thing off me."

"Leave me 'lone," came a sleepy reply.

Giving the leather strip a few more unsuccessful tugs Draco gave up and just to prove a point turned his back to Harry, falling asleep with a frown on his face.

Part of the reason for that frown was that Draco did not think the collar _that _bad but once he remembered Snape with a similar collar on, he gagged on _that thought._

The next morning there were shouts coming from the Draco&Harry cottage, most of them coming from Draco.

"I will get you back for this, Potter! Just you wait!"

"Next time, Draco, next time."

"There won't be a next time!"

"There's always a next time."

Now that sounded like a promise, what devious plan will Draco think up now?

**The E – (should I even bother?) Aw, heck, To be Continued**

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**A/N:** Now don't expect a sequel to this but if it arrives don't be too surprised. :)  And also don't be too surprised if the story is yanked off FF.net, but never fear, you can always find it on my website. Should I even say that reviews are most welcome.

**And my plea for a beta reader or two is repeated. E-mail me, if you would like to beta read for me, at lamort_noir@hotmail.com.**


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